Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
