remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
