of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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