Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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