is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
