he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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