I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize