This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
NoShamevember. You game?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
