My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm bleeding and have questions
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
