I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
