We're facebook friends in real life
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
