Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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