You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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