Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
