true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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