bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We left an ass print on the piano.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂