Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!