fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Did you poop on the roof?
Is that a no?