Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
