He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
