hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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