Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
