your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I didn't notice because vodka
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize