I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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