i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
