So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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