I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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