Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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