I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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