i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My breasts were aching with rage.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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