I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
