Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
