There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
