It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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