at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
