If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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