I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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