there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
