You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
These tits shall not be calmed
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
