He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
