i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
