Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
