i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
