I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
