If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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