there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
