There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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