haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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