oh god the rape fog is back!
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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