i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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