I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Buhtt sex?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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