He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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