I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
