In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
