i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
