toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Randomize
