just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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