Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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