I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
